A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it...
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any...
I am thankful for laughter except when milk comes out of my nose.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It...
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
I am two with nature.
If my films don't show a profit I know I'm doing something right.
Right now it's only a notion but I think I can get the money to make it into...
Money is better than poverty if only for financial reasons.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in...
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately it's the...
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Not only is there no God but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
To you I'm an atheist to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.
As the poet said 'Only God can make a tree ' probably because it's so hard...
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my...
If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
If my films make one more person miserable I'll feel I have done my job.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
