Random Quote
One thing my dad always told me was he would make sure I always had what he didn't have. He couldn't play basketball because he didn't have tennis shoes - so I had five pairs of tennis shoes.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Quotes By Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in...
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of...
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally...
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how...
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not...
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white?...
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to...
Quotes About Funny
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The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
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But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
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I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
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When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
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So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
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People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
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It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
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My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
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I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...