Random Quote
I've learned that people will forget what you said people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I bought some batteries but they weren't included.
Quotes By Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that much time.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered...
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were...
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment...
Quotes About Funny
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The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
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But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
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I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
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When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
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So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
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People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
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It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
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My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
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I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...