I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Women: You can't live with them and you can't get them to dress up in a...
He taught me never to smile which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
When I wake up in the morning I just can't get started until I've had that...
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how...
My computer beat me at checkers but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little...
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I...
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family...
The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...