Random Quote
I would never have become music director of the Chicago Symphony which would have been an extremely sad loss.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Quotes By Emo Philips
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Women: You can't live with them and you can't get them to dress up in a...
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He taught me never to smile which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
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When I wake up in the morning I just can't get started until I've had that...
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Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how...
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My computer beat me at checkers but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
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You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little...
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I...
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Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family...
Quotes About Funny
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The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
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But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
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I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
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When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
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So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
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People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
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It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
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My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
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I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...