Random Quote
The propensity to truck barter and exchange one thing for another is common to all men and to be found in no other race of animals.
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Quotes By Mitch Hedberg
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If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
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Y'know you can't please all the people all the time... and last night all...
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Every time I go and shave I assume there's someone else on the planet...
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I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning...
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I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting...
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's...
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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of...
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I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good and make a cart.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I'll...
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I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans because maybe...
Quotes About Funny
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The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic...
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But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean of course there are...
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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now Howard Stern has a...
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I have a funny family but none of them are remotely in show business.
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When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government the fundamentalists...
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So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been...
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People are funny and in the most tragic situations when comedy erupts from...
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It's funny though because when I first started going to races after we met...
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My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken...
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I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like and it doesn't go...