I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Quotes By Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that much time.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered...
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were...
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment...
Quotes About God
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Discernment is God's call to intercession never to faultfinding.
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I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many...
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Gibson has been making the finest electric guitars the world has ever...
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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over He would...
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To the mind God is a perfect criminal. He has done such a perfect crime by...
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are...
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No government ought to be without censors and where the press is free no one...
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On the field I'm trying to play for the glory of God but then also I'm trying...