Random Quote
Money is a strange business. People who haven't got it aim it strongly. People who have are full of troubles.
My computer beat me at checkers but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Quotes By Emo Philips
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Women: You can't live with them and you can't get them to dress up in a...
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He taught me never to smile which helps me when I visit disaster sites.
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When I wake up in the morning I just can't get started until I've had that...
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Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how...
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You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little...
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How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I...
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Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family...
Quotes About Humor
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Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public...
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The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story.
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Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was...
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We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.
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You may not like the humor but that is why every radio has an on-off button.
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I think superheroes are heroes with flaws and in their flaws there is a...
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Incongruity they say is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's...
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Democratic politicians have disliked things I've written Republican...
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I liked the premise of this material. I love the marriage relationship. They...