Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that much time.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered...
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were...
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment...
The highest use of capital is not to make more money but to make money do...
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally...
You can't live your life blaming your failures on your parents and what they...
I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what...
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's...
I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the...
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life the clearer we...
Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a...
There is no force like success and that is why the individual makes all...