Random Quote
I jetset around and play these songs and get to hang with some pretty amazing people then I go home to a really great farm though actually it's a disaster area of a farm at the moment. But it's certainly a blast. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone right now.
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Quotes By Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that much time.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered...
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were...
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment...
Quotes About Life
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The highest use of capital is not to make more money but to make money do...
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There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
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Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally...
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You can't live your life blaming your failures on your parents and what they...
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I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what...
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's...
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I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the...
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The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life the clearer we...
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Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a...
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There is no force like success and that is why the individual makes all...