I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
Quotes By Mitch Hedberg
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If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
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Y'know you can't please all the people all the time... and last night all...
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Every time I go and shave I assume there's someone else on the planet...
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I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning...
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's...
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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of...
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I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good and make a cart.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I'll...
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I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans because maybe...
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I had a stick of CareFree gum but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I...
Quotes About Love
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At the end of the day you know love does not happen between two perfect...
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Metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say love...
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This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the...
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I really love idiot enlightened characters - these characters who fail to...