Random Quote
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.
Quotes By Demetri Martin
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I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
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If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
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Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
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I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
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And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
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I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
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I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
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For example I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of...
Quotes About Money
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People look at me and they go 'You're white you're smart you must have...
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The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money...
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Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The...
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Because I don't take money I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with...
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I saw Deep Purple live once and I paid money for it and I thought 'Geez...
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The way the bankers have kind of toppled the way money is distributed and...
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Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The...
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I have no one to leave the money to. I'm a single man. I like spending my...