And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.
I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
For example I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of...
People look at me and they go 'You're white you're smart you must have...
The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money...
Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The...
Because I don't take money I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with...
I saw Deep Purple live once and I paid money for it and I thought 'Geez...
The way the bankers have kind of toppled the way money is distributed and...
Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The...
I have no one to leave the money to. I'm a single man. I like spending my...