My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Quotes By Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking ' but I don't have that much time.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered...
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were...
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Quotes About Pet
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I was in three academic clubs a huge book worm and the teacher's pet. I was...
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I always pet a dog with my left hand because if he bit me I'd still have my...
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One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do...
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And I strongly believe people should rescue dogs or at the very least...
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To this day I don't ever remember seeing a pet inside Moscow I never saw...
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I have this pet thing about how global communications are moving so fast now...
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It's true you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway it would be like a...
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My biggest pet peeve are just girls who go to sports bars who have no...
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I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're...