I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked 'Does he bite?' and she said 'No.' And I said 'So how does he eat?' Liar!
If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator....
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...
I tend to avoid televisions politics and places with velvet ropes.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to...
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years so I had temp...
I love women but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are...
My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes you always get another...
I think that when you get dressed in the morning sometimes you're really...
For example I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of...
Let's say a Soviet exchange student back in the '70s would go back and tell...
Deciding whether to trust or credit a person is always an uncertain task.
Espionage for the most part involves finding a person who knows something...
We have only God on our side they have 'In God We Trust' on their side.
If global cooling will come soon - scientists will lose trust.
Experience has taught me never to trust a policeman. Just when you think...
One feels very blessed to be born into a family like the Birla family which...
Then trust me there's nothing like drinking So pleasant on this side of the...