My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me?...
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just...
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on...
Yeah I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history too.
People say that money is not the key to happiness but I always figured if...
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or...
Don't follow any advice no matter how good until you feel as deeply in your...
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over He would...
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are...
I've found the best way is to not be scared of the attention but to be...
Recruitment and retention are critical to sustain our Armed Forces with the...
One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy.
I'm either going to go completely mental completely bankrupt or have the...
Once you are labeled 'the best' you want to stay up there and you can't do...
One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since...
I get a lot of the ideas when I'm resting - either when I'm meditating or...