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Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying 'You had to be there.'

Search For offend In Quotes 45

This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it human and otherwise are imaginary excepting only certain of the fairy folk whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof.

I find that to be a fool as to worldly wisdom and to commit my cause to God not fearing to offend men who take offence at the simplicity of truth is the only way to remain unmoved at the sentiments of others.

Yet when child sex offenders are brought to justice and serve time for their offenses they are often released into unsuspecting communities and left free to resume their sexual attacks.

I am highly offended by the total lack of acknowledgement of my contribution to Laker success.

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

The practice of executing such offenders is a relic of the past and is inconsistent with evolving standards of decency in a civilized society.

We have a society in which one of the greatest things you can do is a platform to see victim status and one of the qualifications for that is that you have these exquisitely tender feelings about things and sensibilities which are easily offended.

Perhaps I seek certain utopian things space for human honour and respect landscapes not yet offended planets that do not exist yet dreamed landscapes.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

It's not my place to tell you whom to vote for to take any political stand to tell you what religion to believe in. I'm an athlete. I can influence certain things but when I see other athletes and celebrities telling you whom to vote for I actually get a bit offended.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people and then they come after you with machetes.

We have initiated programs for re-entry offenders since some 500 000 to 600 000 offenders will come out of prison each year for the next three or four years. We want to have positive alternatives when they come back to the community.

While conscience is our friend all is at peace however once it is offended farewell to a tranquil mind.

Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed for if you merely offend them they take vengeance but if you injure them greatly they are unable to retaliate so that the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.

I don't know of many evangelicals who want to deny gay couples their legal rights. However most of us don't want to call it marriage because we think that word has religious connotations and we're not ready to see it used in ways that offend us.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable.

The one thing that offends me the most is when I walk by a bank and see ads trying to convince people to take out second mortgages on their home so they can go on vacation. That's approaching evil.

The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I'd write if I didn't have to worry about offending.

Child abuse and neglect offend the basic values of our state. We have a responsibility to provide safe settings for at-risk children and facilitate permanent placement for children who cannot return home.

God has never in the history of mankind allowed his name to go long offended.

My greatest happiness is to serve my gracious King and Country and I am envious only of glory for if it be a sin to covet glory I am the most offending soul alive.

I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have.

Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone - except God.