At school there was an annual school disco and I'd be standing in my bedroom wondering what to wear for hours on end. Eventually I'd arrive at a decision that was just the most ridiculous costume you could have ever devised - I think it was probably knitted Christmas jumpers on top of buttoned-up white shirts.
When I was younger I probably didn't understand something basic about tact but I think it kept faint-hearted people at arm's distance and that's not such a bad thing because life is short and I know the kind of people I want to work with.
Thinking is the hardest work there is which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.
No one knows 'men' as such any more than anyone knows 'women ' and if they do generalise they're probably trying to hide their own ignorance. You might know one 'man ' yes or even lots of individual 'men'.
I probably wouldn't be a songwriter if I didn't grow up the way I did. It was difficult and it was at times very scary to grow up in a household so unsettled and at times very violent. But it also I guess it earned me a sort of wisdom at a young age that's served me well.
I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense.
I mean we're going to probably debate the Iraq war for at least as long as I'm alive.
I believe the war on terror is the vital discussion of this decade and of our generation probably. To win the war on terror you need a good offense and a good defense. On defense I regret to say basically this administration has not come close to doing what is necessary.
The War on Drugs employs millions - politicians bureaucrats policemen and now the military - that probably couldn't find a place for their dubious talents in a free market unless they were to sell pencils from a tin cup on street corners.
I have absolutely no regret about my vote against this war. The same questions remain. The cost in human lives the cost to our budget probably 100 billion. We could have probably brought down that statue for a lot less.
Here is a pretty good rule of thumb for Democratic Presidents: if it didn't work for Franklin D. Roosevelt who won four terms and a World War it probably won't work for you either.
Australians are coffee snobs. An influx of Italian immigrants after World War II ensured that - we probably had the word 'cappuccino' about 20 years before America. Cafe culture is really big for Aussies. We like to work hard but we take our leisure time seriously.
It's probably a bit of a power trip when you befriend somebody enough that they trust you to tell you things.
And trust yes which is important but that is what I aim towards. Now that is difficult for some people and with that desire to get things as good as possible I would say that I'm probably regarded as quite prickly to work with.
Who can I trust? You have to invest in somebody and chances are you're probably going to invest in somebody who's going to deceive you. I've been conned a couple of times but now I'm a little more savvy.
I have been able to travel all over the country and see many places that I probably never would have visited. I have also participated in many charity events for worthy causes.
I think travel is probably the downside of playing professional golf but you've got to do it.
The President's political travel is going to get blamed (and probably rightly) for a share of this downturn.
The idea is to have global standards. There is so much travel that if you just had a regional standard it would probably ultimately have to be changed.
I could have probably raised them in L.A. and they would have been great and had so many things at their fingertips and been exposed to so many things. But we travel a lot so I don't think that moving out of town is sheltering the girls at all. Maybe protecting them a little bit more trying to prolong their youth.
The first time probably people really were aware of me I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known.
There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less and because numbness encourages laziness you do fewer things good or bad and the world's probably a better place for it.
If you start using a medication in a person with autism you should see an obvious improvement in behavior in a short period of time. If you do not see an obvious improvement they probably should not be taking the stuff. It is that simple.
Both young children and old people have a lot of time on their hands. That's probably why they get along so well.